Update time!

I've been meaning to update you all for a while but I have been SOOO busy. School is starting and my health insurance is back so I actually get to see the doctors I am supposed to be seeing YAY! Oh and I passed My driving test! I am officially a licensed driver OOT OOT! Which is amazing cause it means I can take myself to doctors appts OOOT!

So let's back up and talk about what the doctors have said so far. As of yesterday my weight is 245.6 lbs. Which yes, is still 10 lbs higher than my lowest weight :\. I'm kind of bummed about that but after talking to my dietician yesterday I realize that that is ok, I need to focus on making myself healthy and the weight loss will come so I will try my best to play by her rules and see how this goes for me. I did see my new PCP yesterday as well, he was really nice and OH MY GOD HE KNEW WHAT PCOS WAS! It was amazing, 3 or 4 years ago I had to spend about 20 minutes explaining to my doctors about PCOS and what it was as well as what typical treatments for PCOS are. I felt sooooo relived.

When I went in we talked about what the first line of defense usually is and what he wants to see me on eventually. I did tell him that I have a dermatologist appt for the next day and an endocrinologist appt for a month away. He acknowledged that was good and prescribed the metformin for me but decided to hold off on the spirolactone and birth control until I saw my endo and dermatologist.  He of course took my labs and all of that I should have those results in by the end of this week, I am kind of interested to see what they say or said, I want to know how all my work I've done has effected my levels.

After the PCP was the dietician and like I said she wants me to focus on my relationship with food and eating to be healthy before I zero in on the weight loss. She brought up a lot of valid points about my relationship with food that I already knew but wasn't exactly ready to face. Needless to say it ended up being a really emotional appointment, I almost cried a few times. Blarg.

After my appt with my dietician we had to race to target to get my RX and get some food so I could take it and get my dosage started. THEN was my driving test. oh my god! I was soooo nervous, the extra waiting time didn't help either. The guy that was supposed to check me in was on lunch and his replacement was busy doing something for 4 people from another country at once *facepalm*. I finally got up there and after 20 mins of waiting they told me I had to fill out a form...Like reallly??? So now I had to get out of line and fill a form out and get back in line (By this point I was getting faint) Then we get that all set up and my cousin and I move the car to the side of the building, the tester gets in the car and looks at the registration. what next? It's expired *facepalm again* Don't get me wrong mistakes happen its perfectly fine and we got it fixed by getting a trip permit, My cousin felt bad cause he knew it was adding to my nerves; but I was honestly ok with it I was just worried I wasn't going to be able to test because it takes 4 weeks to reschedule. I get out on the road, we go around town come back and I was SURE I failed and what did the tester say? I PASSED WITH 90%!!! omg I wanted to break down and cry I was sooo happy!

We finally got my pic taken, I got my interim license and I drove home. In my haste to leave the house though I forgot my keys IN THE HOUSE oi. Thankfully my apartment manager had them so I was able to get back in to my puppy :D After I got home I foot the puppy and myself out to the grove to see family and friends and show off the truck HEHE. I had a pretty ok day overall yesterday.

This morning though I had to get up at 6:30....SIX FREAKIN THIRTY to see the dermatologist....thankfully the BF didn't have to get up with me cause guess what? I can drive myself!!! HEHEHEHE. the dermatologist says that I have folliculitis which is basically inflamed follicles on top of the PCOS issues so she prescribed a topical treatment and antibiotic to me for now, I will be switching to spirolactone in 2 weeks though, that is ultimately something I wanted to do so that is perfectly fine. Overall it means that I need to get on birth control so that I don't get pregnant though because it's REALLY important I don't accidentally get pregnant while on these meds.

Right now I am just waiting for the call from the pharmacy to find out if we need a different RX, since the topical that the dermatologist prescribed could end up being a little pricey....I am not willing to spend a ton on it I know that is sad, but it is the truth :\.

OOh and as I am typing this the doc called back with my labs from yesterday, everything is normal YAY, from the metabolic standpoint anyway now I am just waiting to find out if I need to do a fasting panel or not.  The nurse isn't sure yet so she is going to talk to the doctor and get back to me. Right now it is looking like losing the weight I have lost and taking the supplements I do take have brought my labs back to normal OOOT OOT!

Right, I am gonna head out and do some stuff for now but I will be bak to update this more often I promise!

Week one of recommitment complete!

I have ALL my appt's scheduled and will be talking with a physician and the schools health clinic on monday about metformin and BCPim a little scared about the BCP though. I know that yaz ans yasmin are two that are recommended for PCOS but have MAJOR issues, like a recall was put out on them because of medical issues. I'm wondering what else is out there for me to use....
Anyway I did well today, had a little mini challenge about what to and not to eat and how healthy to be at a restaurant. My friend and I went to sushi which in general is pretty healthy but they had CHOCOLATEEEE and calorie filled sushi goodness (the really yummy sushi that is healthy but not so healthy *dies*). I wanted it all!!!! I ended up walking out having ate a little over 700 cals which is more than I wanted to eat ( I wanted to have 300 or 400 which at a sushi place is TOTALLY doable) but that is ok, still under my cals by 81 :DDD). Preparing for the beach wed. Gonna get packed tomorrow with all the little surprises that I bought that the BF doesn't know about yet HEHEHE.

I was out shopping with my girlfriend today and she is litterally a size TWO. ugh. Hate standing next to her. We were shopping at target for cute bras for her and OMG did you know they even sold bras for $17??? CUUUTTEEE ones too!
OMG I would own so many bras if I was able to shop there HAAHAHAH. I am kind of hoping I shrink to a DD or a D that way I CAN shop there. Next week is gonna be soo hectic. I start school and have my drivers test and have 5 doc appts (the endo isnt until oct sadly :\) so my health will be on the fast track to recovery! OOT OOT. I am EXCITED! I am sooo gonna do this this time. I said that last time and I did do it, in a way. I said I was gonna lose the weight, I didnt say I was gonna lost it all, I just said I was going to lose weight. which I did. I lost a total of 72 lbs from my highest. I am EXACTLY the same weight right now that I was at this time last year. I am trying to look at it as I have learned how to maintain, even though I have gone up by 10 lbs (mainly water weight) and down by 10 lbs (my lowest) I have stayed generally around this weight so I am hoping it is all downhill from here :D I had only 37 lbs to go till goal and that sounds like so little but now I am back to 47 and that is sooo close to 50 lbs :\ My ultimate goal is to get to 170 but that number yea :\ It is 77 lbs away and looks soooo far. Its discouraging to sit here and say YAY I lost 72 lbs! Boo, I have 77 more to go :\. So yaaayy!!! I lost 72 lbs ! I have 47 left to go :D

I just had to let this all out :D IDK why I am so freakin happy but this whole losing weight thing has me EXCITED! I was going to let myself have 2 free days at the beach but I am doing so well and finding this so easy at the moment that I don't want to break my groove. I know that I will not be within calories range but I am going to eat sensibly. I have two treats planned, squeaky cheese from the tillamook cheese factory and a piece ,yes just one piece of fudge from a little taffy shop in the town we will be staying in, Other than that I will not drink at the casino and I will be SENSIBLE with my selections at the restaurants and at breakfast :D Here we go world get ready for a sexier, skinnier , healthier, prettier and happier me!

again, again, again.

Yep Again. 
Well First I am have to say I haven't technically gained since I am about the weight I was at this time last year. The depressing part? I HAVE BEEN AT THIS WEIGHT FOR A YEAR!!! ugh. I have made it down to 237 a few times and come right back up. That number *points to 237* is my barrier and I will kick its ass this time! I will NEVER see 250 OR 240 once I make it out this time. NOT GOING OT HAPPEN. I am at this, I got this, I have the rage, the fire in me I had the first time around and I LOOOVVEEE that feeling. My goal is to be between 211 and 225 by dec 12th (My vacation to cali) ANNNDDDD be able to run a half an hr straight by then so that I can continue exercising while down there. Cali has AMAZING weather in december, and it is still acceptable to run outside there. Plus it's really flat, so none of the hills I have here to deal with HHEHEHE. I'm gonna BUST this.

I've decided to suck it up and make an appt to get back on Met since my insurance kicks in again on the 20th of this month, i can actually see a doctor. OOT OOT. I'm going to see the schools Dietician and normal doctor since that doesn't get charged to my health insurance. Then  I will use my insurance for the specialists. Such as a dermatologist and an endocrinologist.

IDK y I am so excited but I am!